Worth fighting for
by Oldpocketwatch
Summary: AU where Phoebe managed to save her and Cole's child from the Oracle. Now ten years old, Benjamin Halliwell-Turner finds it hard to be good and Phoebe reflects upon the choice she made.


A.N. I decided to rewatched the Charmed series recently and watching the episode about Phoebe and Cole's child inspired me to write this. What would've happened if the child hadn't been soulless and Phoebe had chosen to keep it?

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed. Obviously.

Hope you'll enjoy!

* * *

Phoebe sighed deeply as she parked the car into her driveway. She was tired, as tired as she always was as of late. Even though, they had arrived home, she couldn't muster the will to move. Her hands were still on the wheel, she seemed frozen in place.

Beside her sat a little boy, not older than ten years old whose eyes were resolutely set on his lap. He hated to hear his mother sigh. A sigh meant many things, none of them positive. It meant tiredness, disappointment, wariness, sadness, and even regret. And every time his mother sighed, it was because of him. Him. Her son. Benjamin Halliwell.

After a minute, Phoebe suppressed another sigh and looked at her son. She didn't need to ask him how he felt since she could feel herself the strong feelings of guilt radiating from him. And even without her empathy abilities, her son's feelings were obvious.

"Come on, Benji." she called tenderly. "We're home."

Silently, he took off his security belt and got out of the car. His mother followed suit. Once inside, Phoebe brought him to the living room were she sat him down. She was about to start talking when her son interrupted her.

"I'm sorry, mom."

Phoebe sighed again. Benjamin tried not to flinch.

"I know sweetie. But you can't keep doing this. Saying sorry does not fix your mistakes. Besides, I'm not the one you should apologize to."

"I know."

"What were you thinking, getting into another fight at school! And using your powers! Benjamin, you need to be more careful!" Phoebe had slowly raised her voice, but sensing her son's distress, she added more softly, "For your sake and that of magic."

"I'm sorry," repeated Benjamin. "I do try to be good. Really, mom. I try so hard."

When her mother didn't respond, he got up and cried out: "You've got to believe me." Behind him, an old vase exploded. Benjamin flinched and tried to supress his tears. His mother immediately got up to hold him against her. She softly petted his hair while muttering reassurances in his ear.

"It's okay, honey. I believe you."

"It's not that I chose to be bad... It's like evil follows me or something."

It was Phoebe's turn to flinch. She choked on a suppressed sob. Her heart felt heavy in her chest, heavier than usual.

"Listen to me Benjamin Halliwell-Turner. You are not evil. You were born out of love. Your father and I loved each other very much. And I…we love you." The "we" felt foreign on her lips. She had been alone and isolated from her loved ones for so long… everyone except sweet little Benji of course. "Do you remember what I told you about your father?"

"That he was a demon but he fell in love with you. And he wanted to be good for you."

"Exactly. Because you have to choose to be evil."

"But you also said you had to vanquish him."

"I did. Your father was like you. He tried really hard to be good, but because he was a demon, he had to work extra hard to fight the temptation. And despite all the good in him, it wasn't enough…because he wasn't doing it for him or for good. He was doing it for me."

Phoebe spoke slowly, making sure her son would understand every word she was saying. Since her son's birth and her subsequent isolation from her sisters, she had a lot of time to think about Cole, the love of her life, and the choices they had both made.

"But, mom, if he wasn't strong enough to fight it, why would I be?"

"Because you were raised to be good and every day you try to make the right decisions, not for me, not just for yourself, but for the greater good. Do you understand?"

"I think so."

"Good. Now go to your room. You are grounded for the rest of the week."

"But mom!" Protested Benjamin.

"No buts! You know the consequences of behaving badly!" Sternly replied Phoebe. "Now go or I'll have to use one of gram's spells to make you!"

Benjamin didn't to hear it twice. He picked up his school bag and climbed the stairs to his room.

* * *

Phoebe was worried about her son. Every time an incident happened at school, she remembered what the Oracle had said to her when she tried to take her son away from her. He was destined to be the new Source.

Of course, a lot had happened since then. Benjamin hadn't been soulless. And he looked a lot like Cole. He had the same dark hair, the same eyes… Many people thought he looked a lot like his mother but she only ever saw Cole when she looked at him. It caused her great pain and joy at the same time.

She didn't regret keeping him. Her life turned out very differently than she expected and sometimes when she was asleep, she dreamt of a world where the Oracle succeeded at taking him away. That world is peaceful now and her other self leads a perfect life. She's married to the perfect man and she has three beautiful daughters… but there is no Benjamin.

No matter how painful the rift between her and her sisters was and no matter how difficult it was to be a single parent, the Phoebe of this reality was forever bound to her son, her last link with the love of her life. And she was determined to not lose another loved one to the temptation of evil. Even if it brought her own demise.

Loving Cole had taught her many things. Love can bring the best and sometimes the worst out of people, but mostly the best. And her love would be enough to save her son. It had to be.

Because Benjamin Halliwell-Turner was the last thing Phoebe had that was worth fighting for.


End file.
